English: John Terry Nederlands: http://www.pos...

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Anton Ferdinand will decide in the next 48 hours whether to shake John Terry’s hand when QPR meet Chelsea in the FA Cup on Saturday. That’s according to this morning’s copy of The Times.

Reports elsewhere say that Ferdinand has already decided to snub the Chelsea captain’s handshake, while others say Ferdinand’s is under strict instructions from his club to politely adhere to the pre-match formalities.

Obviously, no-one knows what will happen when the two men meet. All we do know, is that this is an epoch defining event in football. A point in history against which all future events will be measured.

Already the Olympic countdown clock in Trafalgar Square has been recalibrated, and is now ticking down to 3pm on Saturday.

Crowds have begun to gather in St Marks Square in a 24-hour vigil. And the Pope will lead a service in the hope that God will offer Ferdinand divine guidance on the issue.

So serious are the potential consequences the guardians of the famous ‘Doomsday clock’, which indicates how close the world is to Armageddon, have inched the minute hand one notch closer global catastrophe.

A small number of people have even formed a new cult and retreated to a deserted Scottish Isle. There they will live secluded from the world existing solely by a new code of ethics based on asking themselves: “What would Anton do?”

Meanwhile, for those who have decided to remain in the UK and live through these tumultuous events, Sky News will broadcast rolling coverage of the event. Using helicopters their cameras will track Ferdinand and Terry as they emerge from the tunnel, warm-up, and move down the line of players as they go through the pre-game rituals.

So, with judgement day looming and with the world’s religious leaders calling for peace, we will all continue to count down to the big moment. Only to find out that Anton’s out with a groin strain….



  1. For the person who wrote this you would of thought you’d get the kick off time correct for the report. Idiot

  2. Much as i beleive every man should be given a 2nd chance John Terry has a terrible track record and has proven himself to be a bit of a scumbag.

    No handshake from me

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