Twitter: Bringing fans closer to dull footballers

Michael Owen - Real Madrid

Image via Wikipedia

Football was embroiled again in another Twitter sparked furore after Wayne Rooney ‘offered out’ a fan who abused him on the social networking site.

Recently we’ve seen Carlton Cole and Ryan Babel find themselves on the wrong end of FA disciplinary proceedings after tweeted remarks. And if you’re inclined to dismiss it as a storm in tea cup you could always try telling that to the two Scottish footballers who were sacked after comments about Neil Lennon.

So against this background you’d be forgiven for thinking that controversy was the default setting where Twitter and footballers were concerned.

However, in this turbulent sea of dispute and debate there is an oasis of calm. Somewhere we can enjoy the peace and quiet of mundane observation and bland platitude. Safe from the siren calls of incisive observation, trenchant opinion, or pure splenetic bile.

Where is this tranquil shore I hear you ask. Why it’s Michael Owen’s twitter feed.

Here’s the former teen prodigy on Avram Grant’s sacking:

“Who will take over at West Ham? I’m sure they will get a big name, they are a great club with great history. Plenty of people will want it.”

And the Premiership relegation battle.

“Hard to predict who will be going down. Nobody seems to deserve it this season. What a day to be sat on the sofa watching events unfold.”

Not even the return of sectarianism to Scottish football can trap Michael Owen.

“What about that chap tonight who attacked Neil Lennon? Not good for Scottish football or the game in general.”

Where the rest of the football world froths itself up into lather, Michael serenely navigates these seas. Avoiding anything which might be mistaken as controversial or, even more worryingly, an opinion.

Even Michael’s off field life is equally as tranquil.

“Porridge for breakfast. Just watching the golf on tv before I get showered.”

But surely there must be a flaw. Nobody can be that perfect. And I have to admit there has been one breach of Michael’s even tempered approach to events that confront him in his life.

“Filling out the forms so I can buy my allocation of 16 tickets for the champions league final. Just seen the price of them £225. Joke.”

However, for Michael there is a happy ending. Fortunately he’ll be able to sit and watch the Champions League final for free – from his usual vantage point of the substitutes bench.


3 Comments on “Twitter: Bringing fans closer to dull footballers

  1. In the kingdom of the bland Michael Owen is the beige coloured king.

    Give it a couple of months though. I’m sure Imogen will work her way through to him.


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